It started when ...

It started this morning when I woke up to Ethan whining over not wanted to share his cars with Aaron ... again.

It started Friday when it looked like Aaron's finger was getting infected and he might need to go to the hospital for IV antibiotics.

It started Thursday night when Josh was getting ready to leave for camp. He took the kids and gave me some time. I cleaned the house like a madwoman. I scrubbed the kitchen down. Scrubbed the bathroom with seriously harsh chemicals. It looked great. The kids came back. Sixty seconds later, my work was undone. Dirty, dirty, dirty.

It started Tuesday night when Aaron stabbed his finger and had to get five stitches.

It started a few weeks ago when Mae started getting around on her own. I spend all day chasing her around, pulling cars and trains out of her mouth!

It started in December, when two of our friends lost babies.

It started when Ethan quit using the toilet.

It started in September when my church closed, and it went down in a bad way.

It started in August, when my good friend shared that he'd had an affair.

It started in July, when little Ruby was born with unexpected health issues.

It started in June, when my friend lost her baby.

It started in June, when I moved to camp with a 2-week-old, a 2-yr-old and a 3-yr-old and tried to manage on my own.

It started in May, with Mae's 30-hour labor and six hours of pushing.

It started months before that, when I realized I had another surprise pregnancy, and would have three kids in four years.

It started ...

Etc.

"I will lift my eyes to the maker ..."

The little things and the big.

"God, my God, I cry out. Your beloved needs you now."