I have been having a hard time thinking of things to blog about, and I haven't been taking pictures, so I guess I could just talk about my daily life. (The "real" stuff.)
I'm on a strict diet, and I'm trying not to let it consume me. I have a notebook where I write down everything I eat, and then there are columns: calories, protein, calcium, iron, folic acid, and fat (I added the fat one when I found myself eating tons of Marie Calendar's frozen chicken pot pies. Gross.) :). I do ok in most categories except I'm consistently low on iron and calories. The calories I know is because I really feel better when I eat lots of protein. I eat lots of meatloaf and tons of cheese. Right now I'm sitting here with 1 cup of milk, 1/3 cup of cubed cheese, and five mini reese's cups. Like I said, this can be consuming. Worse than that, though, is the emotional "tally-time" at the end of the day. I have a love-hate relationship with the numbers on the page, depending how they add up.
I am struggling with nursing Aaron ... today I journalled, "If I was going to wean at 12 months, and he's 11 months now, does another month really matter?" Agh. It is a difficult decision because I have been trying to get him to cut back and he is responding really negatively. He never used to throw a fit about anything, but oh, he throws a fit when he wants to nurse and I don't. It's so unlike him. I can handle pain, that's one thing, but did you know that when you're pregnant and you nurse your body releases a hormone that makes you restless? It's the wierdest experience, kind of like being on a light drug. I find myself shuffling my feet, moving my shoulders, and feeling annoyed. It's a "let's do something else, I'm uncomfortable" feeling. Try that at 3 am.
On that note, though, it is really difficult making choices about my needs, Aaron's needs, and this baby's needs. Who comes first? I think about it at least ten times a day.
Josh really likes his new job. His being gone all day is a huge adjustment for me, but it's getting easier. It is a blessing that he comes home excited about his work and not stressed!
Well, that's probably enough for now ... such is life for Sarah at the moment.
Farewell, Sweet Office
14 years ago
1 comment:
dearest sarah -
you are a strong women. its so encouraging for me after hearing about trafficking all day to come on here and see how God intended it, a mother loving and investing her whole self for her children.
remember that YOU are loved by God, just as much, and MORE than you love your children.
if it matters to you, it matters to Him.
katie.
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